Valentines Day 2007


It is time again when hearts are thumping
When loving antibodies begin their clumping
When Eros Reason is clearly stumping
And we, your admirers, to you are galumping

To send you greetings of love and admiration
Our Valentines wishes of love’s exhultation
We love you more than we love our play station
More than Jimmy Carter loves the Haitians

On this day when Oprah sends out an air kiss
And tries to make up to Ludakris
When Hillary Clinton tries to make nice
With the friends and employers of Condaleeza Rice

When Itchy and Scratchy put their warfare on hold
And CIA agents can come from the cold
When Joe Biden stops cracking wise on Yo Mama
When ever he thinks about Barak Obama

And even though we’re up to our gizzard
In a freezing, windy, old-fashioned blizzard
Our feelings are strong, our energy wizard
Today we out-freak the phreaque Eddy Izzard

Sweet Lollipop candies by the foot, by the yard
Is what we are sending to our dear friend Rashaad

We’re drawing graphical roses on an X and Y grid
To send to our valentine, dear old Ben Kidd

We’re kneading strawberries into the dough
To bake red heart shaped pies for our friend Joe

Were importing lobster –red valentines from the seaport of Gloucester
To signal our love for sweet Amanda Foster

We’ve made chocolate candies with verve and with style
To show our affection for our good friend Kyle

We’re importing perfumes and flowers from the Sheiks of the Sahara
To say please be our valentine to our valentine Sarah.

We’ve got imported jujubes – expensive but worth every penny
To say “Won’t you please be our valentine – oh won’t you – Mick Kenney?

A chorus of angels will deliver flowers and sing Hosanah!
To send our love to dear Shoshana

Reduce, re-use, re-cycle… We’ve melted down a candy cane
To make a candy heart for our friend Shane

We sent all the way down to the big apple: Manhattan, New York
To be sure we have the trendiest valentine for dear Katie York

We’ll whip up a chorus of love songs in nothing flat
To serenade our valentine Kirsten Pratt

A boatload of love delivered in a chocolate freighter right from heaven
Is on the way for our friend Evan

We’re howling love songs all night long from our mountain top shack
For Ilana and Alex our very own loveable wolf pack

We’ve ordered museum reproductions of famous love scenes – dang these artists – we hope they’re not late
To send our fondest of valentine greetings to Caitlin and Cait

We hand sorted the cocoa beans to make sure there’s no filler
To make candies for valentines Niki and Robin Lloyd …. Miller

We ain’t sure of most things but of this we are sartin
We must have your valentine pledge Oh please! Grady Martin

Of course we went right to the source of the best: Paris
To find just zee right bon bons for dear Julia Harris

We took fronds of date palms and wove them into a valentine rug
To honor our love for our dear photographer friend Doug

We asked the national mint to cast a special honorary medallion (gold plating on the purest of nickel)
To proclaim our love for our friend Emily Sichel

What better to honor him than an answering machine message read by the sultry Susan Sarandon?
To express our valentine love for our dear friend Brandon

We went back to Japan (not matter what the trip was costin’)
To get Barentaimu no ame for our friend Austin

We adjusted the volume, the pitch, the speed, the tone – so that everything is just right
When we play our valentine anthem for dear Emily White




We cannot speak softly or quietly – in this case we will be screaming and yellin’
Our love is so strong for our dear friend Robbie Llewelyn

We will search everywhere – we will leave nary
A stone unturned in our quest for the best for our friend Peter Carey

We would endure days in the stock – weeks in the pillory
Just for the chance to send valentine greetings to our dear friend Hilary

We pestered the MGM lion until with anger he roared
And agreed to do a short Valentine movie for our dear friend Clay Ward

We’ve hired an Arthurian knight and his group of stout yeomen
To skate valentine greetings for our friend Andrew Bauman

We took our valentine paintings to Cupid’s royal framer
To prepare our best work for a friend Lucas Cramer

From the finest of red grapes we made the tastiest jelly
For Valentine hearts for dear Patrick Kelley

We went to a classical source – who else but Yogi Berra?
For our valentine message – Abraham Lincoln must have had a lot of friends, because I get a lot of Valentines right around Lincoln’s birthday – for our friend Derek Puzzanghera

Imported from Russia, from the secret larders in an estate formerly owned by Boris Yeltsin
Comes our heart-shaped tins of caviar for our friend Katherine Nelson

We put our best verse forward – a poem read by his honor Rudi Giuliani
Is our valentine greeting for our friend Florio Tiramani

We like him so much we composed this couplet in nothing flat
Happy Valentines day to you our dear friend Matt



Of all our gathering valentine gifts and materials jaunts we
Really enjoyed finding valentine wishes for dear Robert Ronci

OK, we know it has come down the wire
And last, but in no way the least,
Please be our Valentine Egan McGuire

We hope you had fun and we hope that you know
That we love you and we welcome the chance to say so
And to all whom we’ve missed in our Valentining expression
Please don’t let it turn you to gloom and depression

Next year we’ll be here in this very same place
With the same goofy costumes and goofy smiles on our face
To tell you we send you our great adulation
At least through the week of your graduation.

So now we are done with our Valentine Rhyming
You know we are true – there will be no two-timing
At least ‘til tomorrow when we will say
Only 364 shopping days until Valentines Day

Gus and John